Script

As most people know, a script has the lines (also known as dialog) that the actors say during a performance.  But a script is more than that. It also contains all sorts of instructions for how things should be said, what the characters should be doing, and various stage and lighting cues.

Scripts have changed remarkably little over the years. While different types of scripts (stage plays, radio programs, etc.) have slightly different formats, they are all pretty similar. Dialog appears under the character’s name. Instructions to the actors appear in parentheses. These are not spoken. You will also notice general staging instructions, which appear off to the side. These are also not spoken.

A sample script appears below.

 

Perspectives – Episode One

Fall 2006

Setting: A news show set for three commentators – a cat (Kit Mouser), an elephant (Packard A. Derm) and a pig (Pignella Hamswell). A narrator (Wilson) never appears, but his voice is heard at various times throughout the show. He also is heard via a voice synthesizer.

 Opening theme plays over narration. Spot light on backdrop.

 

NARRATOR

Perspectives – the News and Commentary Show with your host, Kit Mouser. Today, Kit’s guests are:

Spot light on Pack

NARRATOR

Packard Derm

Pack gives a shy nod. Spot light switches to Pig.

And Pignella Hamswell

Pig nods excitedly. Spots go off.

 Now, your host – Kit Mouser.

All spots come on.

KIT

Good day, and welcome to Purrrrr-spectives – the news and commentary show. I’m Kit Mouser.

Today and every day on Purrrr-spectives we’ll be examining the news that matters to you the viewer. Our hallmark will be insightful commentary provided by me, Kit Mouser, and my panel of world-renowned journalists. Utilizing our superior intellects, we will help you better understand this complex world we all live in. 

Now I’d like to introduce our panelists. On my right is Peanut Gallery Press Hopkinton Bureau Chief, Packard A. Derm.

(Kit turns to Pack.)

PACK

 (Nervously)

Uh, thanks Kit.

KIT

On my left, is PNN Hopkinton Correspondent, Pignella Hamswell.

 (Kit turns to Pig.)

PIG

Hi Kit! It’s great to be here!

 

KIT

Okay, let’s get started. Topic number one – Kit Mouser. Who is this paragon of pontification?

Well, it all started at a little 500 watt radio station in Pasadena, California – K-A-T-T. Yes, I loved my days at KATT. I had a call in show called “Opinions, with you host, Kit Mouser”. It was tough, but honest work. But I didn’t achieve real fame until what I call, the PodCast years. My show, “A News and Commentary PodCast, with your host, Kit Mouser” was the darling of the Web 2.0 phenom.

Of course, I went on to win various awards. But everyone knows that. So what about the REAL Kit Mouser? What is he really like? 

(Turns to Pack)

Pack.

 

PACK

Uh, well Kit. I don’t really know. We just met for the first time a few minutes ago. Honestly, I’m not even sure why I’m here. My agent said it would be good for me to get out in front of the camera. But it’s kind of scary…

KIT

Well Pack, that’s very interesting. But lets try to stay on topic. And the topic is Kit Mouser.

(Turns to Pig)

Pig, what do you think?

PIG

Gee, Kit. I think you’re just terrific. And those whiskers? Who does your whiskers? I’m just wild about the whiskers…

KIT

Thanks, Pig.

PIG

I read somewhere that your real name was Beauford Bumbleton, and that you changed it when you got into show business.

 KIT

No, no! That’s just a vicious rumor started by jealous mutts.

A loud crashing sound is heard, and the lights flicker out. 

PIG

What was that?

PACK

Are you okay backstage? 

KIT

Oh, that’s just Wilson, our stage manager.

 (Everyone is looking up at the lights)

Wilson?                                                                                                                                                                      

Wilson?! 

NARRATOR

(Somewhat distant)

Sorry, Mr. Mouser. I tripped. I’ll get the lights back on right away.

Various banging noises are heard. 

PIG

I kind of like this. It’s like romantic mood lighting…

PACK

I like it better when the lights are on.

A big switch being thrown is heard. Spot light comes on Pig.

PIG

Mmmm. Now this I really like!

KIT

Wilson!

NARRATOR

Sorry, Mr. Mouser. I’ll fix it…

Pause. More sounds. Light goes off Pig and on Pack.

PIG

(Dejectedly)

Awww…

They all look up at Pack’s light.

KIT

Wilson!!

 The lights all come on.

KIT

Well that’s much better. I see that it’s time to move on.

Topic number two: Pluto. Scientists recently demoted Pluto from full planetary status, calling it a dwarf planet. Worse yet, Pluto is one of three dwarf planets, the others being Ceres and Eris, neither of which anyone had ever heard of until very recently.

 As a result, millions of textbooks will have to be changed. Schools and libraries throughout the world will spend billions of dollars updating materials. Even astrologers will need to revise their charts.

On the other hand, scientists argue that Pluto is a Kuiper Belt object, and should never have been called a planet. To do so is misleading. Although Pluto has many planet characteristics, its gravitational field is too small to clear the area near its orbit.

So, is this semantic silliness or categoric commonsense?

(Turns to Pack)

Pack.

PACK

Uh, well, I’ve never been to Pluto.

KIT

Nobody has.

PACK

Oh. Well, I don’t think it really changes anything. It’s just a name.

KIT

And a bad one at that. Who’d name a planet after a dog? 

PIG

I think the dog was named after the planet.

KIT

Well, I think we should have some cat planets. How about planet Felix? Or planet Kit Mouser?

PACK

I like Garfield.

PIG

No, No! The dog was named after the planet. Not the other way around.

KIT

Oh. Well that’s different. I don’t think I’d like being named after a planet. Especially Uranus.

PACK

No. That wouldn’t be good.

KIT

Well, to help us better understand this important issue, we are very pleased to have world-renowned astrophysicist, Stephen Hawking, on the phone.

Hello Dr. Hawking, and welcome to Purr-spectives.

SYNTH

Hello Kit. It is great to be on your show, Perspectives. I would be happy to share my perspectives with your audience.

KIT

Wonderful. So what do you make of the Pluto controversy? Is Pluto really just a Kuiper Belt object? 

SYNTH

Kuiper schmiper. Everybody knows Pluto is a planet.

PIG

But is it a dwarf planet? 

SYNTH

Oh. Well, yes. Along with Sleepy, Sneezy, Doc, Grumpy, and the other ones.

PACK

Dr. Hawking, this is Packard Derm. I’ve always been a great fan of your work. Could you please explain your theory of dark matter?

SYNTH

Certainly. Dark matter is matter that has been carefully painted black 

PIG

Wait a second! I don’t think that’s really Stephen Hawking.

KIT

Wilson? Is that you?

SYNTH

No Mr. Mouser. It is not me.

KIT

Wilson! Stop playing with my computer!

SYNTH

Sorry, Mr. Mouser… 

KIT

Moving on – topic number three: product placement. In an era of Tivo and other digital video recorders, more and more people are skipping over traditional commercials. As a result, advertisers are seeking other ways to show off their products. The latest fad is product placement – where a product or brand appears or is discussed in the show itself. Last year, there were over 100,000 paid product placements on network television!

But as the product placement frenzy grows, many are worried that it is changing what we see. Scripts are being tweaked to increase the number of placement opportunities. Add a scene at a Burger King, pass around some Junior Mints, or drink a Pepsi. Worse yet, product placements are starting to appear on news shows. So we’re not just talking about corrupting an artistic vision – we’re talking about the possibility of the news we see being determined by the need to advertise products.

PACK

As a journalist, I find this to be a very disturbing trend. We’ve spent decades establishing our independence and building public trust. In a democracy, the press plays a critical role – we provide the information that is the basis of the decisions voters make. We must never subjugate that sacred task to the desire to sell more colas.

PIG

I couldn’t agree more. As a member of the “fourth estate”, we are honor bound to uphold certain standards of excellence.

(Turns to audience…) 

Speaking of excellence, the fine folks at Bill’s Pizza of 14 Main Street, Hopkinton Massachusetts have always felt honor bound to bring you the highest quality “food on the run”. They feature a wide variety of pizzas, calzones, grinders and other Italian specialties. At Bill’s, they appreciate your business.

(Turns back to Kit…)

And I think we all appreciate the importance of maintaining our journalistic independence.

KIT

Yes, Pig. You’re right. You know, many TV producers think they can slip in a few promotions in a very subtle way – that they really don’t change the content much, and that the public won’t notice. But, I think they really do notice. Like they notice how for over 15 years EMC’s CLARiiON network storage systems have led the industry in delivering the reliability needed to support demanding midrange applications. Today’s CX3 offers significant advances in ease of use and new consolidation capabilities.

PIG

Absolutely. I think the viewing public is too smart for this. They know when they’re being pitched a product. Besides, it’s pretty obvious when the thing being pitched doesn’t fit in.

(Turn to audience…)

Of course, you’ll never have any trouble fitting in at Bill’s Pizza. They welcome every customer like they were family, and there’s lot’s of free parking in the rear.

(Turn’s back to Kit…)

KIT

Yes, I think we can all agree that product placements have no place on news shows. Just like we can all agree that EMC’s File Virutalization and Management technology with new policy-based archiving across heterogeneous NAS and CAS will simplify, and reduce TCO.

PIG

Definitely. 

PACK

Uh… well… I think I so… 

KIT

Excellent.

PIG

It’s definitely special.

(Turns to audience again…)

Special like the Specialty Pizza’s at Bill’s Pizza. They’re featuring Hawaiian Pizza with Pineapple

(starting to get upset)

and Canadian Bacon… Ewww!

KIT

Alright then. Topic number four. Peanuts. 

PACK

Oh, I think I’m going to like this one.

KIT

No, I’m afraid not.

PIG

Well, you just don’t like it because Snoopy is such a famous dog. You have to admit, he’s kind of cute!

KIT

No! No! Not Peanuts the comic strip. Peanuts the nut.

PACK

See, I told you I was going to like it!

KIT

No, I’m afraid not, Pack. The topic is peanut allergies. Recent research reported in the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology reports that between 1997 and 2002, the prevalence of peanut allergies doubled. Currently, about 1% of the population suffers from peanut allergies. 

(Pack starts to shake and mouth starts to open…) 

Peanut allergies can be quite nasty. Even small amounts can cause severe reactions. It is estimated that 100-150 people in the U.S. die each year from peanut allergies.

As a result, peanuts have become the new toxic waste of the 21st century. Some schools have even gone so far as to ban all peanut products from their grounds.

(Pack is really shaking by this point and his mouth is hanging wide open…)

PACK

This is terrible! I hate to see people get hurt, but I love peanuts! Peanuts are my life! I need peanuts!

KIT

Now Pack, we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good. Why I myself gave up small birds.

PIG

Like Woodstock?

KIT

Good grief, Pignella Hamswell. We’re not talking about the comic strip! But now that you mention it, properly prepared, that little yellow ball of fluff would be delectable. Perhaps a nice Kung Pao.

PACK

I thought Kung Pao had peanuts in it.

KIT

Ah. So it does. I’m beginning to see your problem.

PIG

I didn’t know you liked peanuts, Beauford?

KIT

Actually, I do.

PIG

Aha! I knew your name was Beauford!

KIT

No, no! Stop calling me that. This is a serious topic. Please try to…

As Kit speaks, lights slowly fade. All the characters look up to watch them fade.

Uh, Wilson?

Wilson.

Wilson!

NARRATOR

(In a sleepy voice) Huh? What? Oh, sorry Mr. Mouser. I fell asleep leaning on the controls. You guys should really try to pick more interesting topics.

KIT

(Sigh.) 

Lights come back on. 

KIT

Well, now that I can see again, I see that’s all we have time for today. I want to thank my guests, Packard Derm…

PACK

Uh, thanks Kit.

KIT

And Pignella Hamswell…

PIG

It was a pleasure to be here with you Beauffy.

KIT

Now stop that!

PIG

Sorry.

KIT

All right then. Thanks again for joining us for Purrrr-spectives. This is Kit Mouser wishing you all a good day.

Closing theme plays.

NARRATOR

This has been a presentation of

(3 tones play)

The Feline Broadcasting Company. 

Lights dim.

Stay tuned for “Cooking with Bill Goat”. Today, Bill shows how to prepare Boot a l‘orange.

Long pause.

PACK

Uh, Kit. I think they’re still looking at us.

PIG

(Looks at audience.)

Yup. They’re definitely still there.

KIT

Well, maybe if we just sit very still, they’ll lose interest and go away…